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if i meet zach

A short skit I wrote, working with the idea that an unknown person might be funny, even to someone who is actually funny. What would happen if I were to rub elbows in a bar with Zach Galifianakis? Please enjoy it.


if i met zach jassjakisi

in a bar – from bartender shot – zach is enjoying a beer in peace.

brooks sits down next to zach, calmly, doesn’t recognize him at first.

brooks: hey whats goin on, do you like comedy?

zach: not really.

brooks: (recognizes that it is zach, and says in a downtrodden manner) good because this is not very funny material. its just more observational… nobody really thinks im funny, i think sometimes maybe sometimes i could be funny. you know, like, in my head.

zach: (deciding if he cares or should not be bothered, then takes a chance) share it with me. points.

cuts to on stage –

brooks – to audience: so people work hard, really hard, and then they don’t feel successful. that is really strange to me. nobody would work that hard if they weren’t feeling success from it. i mean even the littlest taste of success will keep us going… for a while. and i have worked hard, i am not successful. i meet successful people and they work a lot less hard than i do, like some of them have never worked hard, or maybe they have and its just out of my comprehension! like the person who thought roasting beans, grinding them up, and running water over them was a good idea! then i start to think maybe my work can translate into theirs, then i start pestering them and finding if i can maybe add to their success all my hard work!! Yeah, bothering them and taking over their success…

cuts back to bar –

zach (laughing really hard belly laugh): Wooah now you just made that up? Just now, based on our situation? *a joke about no pancake mix, somewhere?*

brooks: yeah, i mean its funny because the tragedy of the, not to mention the paradox…(starts to explain)

zach interrupts: yeah yeah, i know (pats brooks on back, finishes drink, puts on coat, going to leave).

brooks (in dramatic voice): im just getting started!

zach: its not funny.

brooks: i know not this time.

(pause) brooks shouts after zach desparately: i can write!

credits –

then –

after, or during credits –

phone voice over
zach calls brooks: hey, its zach.

brooks: oh, hi zach.

zach: hey, you said you could write?

brooks: yeah!

zach: well i have some writing i’d like to have you do.

brooks: i don’t write.

zach: oh.

(pause) zach: want to go get a beer again sometime?